Monthly Archives: December 2013

You Should Fall For Someone Who Doesn’t Love You

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Thought Catalog

It occurred to me the other day that there might be people in this world who have never known unrequited love, have never fallen for someone who didn’t fall too.

I know it’s rarer than a solar eclipse, but it seems likely that some have managed it; people who married their high school sweetheart, who got it right on the first try, who were seemingly born with enough innate confidence to walk right up to the object of their affection and say, “I think you’re great, would you like to go on a date sometime” and whose confidence was rewarded with a resolute, “Absolutely, I’d love to” and a Happily Ever After. The rest of us would be inclined to murder a couple like this if we ever came across them, but I maintain that they are the ones who are missing out. Everyone should fall for someone who doesn’t…

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Brace yourselves for TamBrahm Arranged Marriage Version Gen-Y

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Though enough’s been said and read about the idea of Tambrahm arranged marriages, you just can’t fill the funny, funny void that it has created. I tell you, there’s something fundamentally un-Tambrahmish about arranged marriages today…

1. You meet ‘prospective life partners’ in an ultra cool matrimony networking site. Don’t laugh. It’s cool ok. I have facts to back up my justification.

No hacker can NEVER download your lakshanamaana photo and misuse it! I wonder why they would take it from a matrimony site, but still, let’s give you the benefit of doubt.

2. Oh and every boy or girl is a non-smoker, non-drinker, religious, earns well, will swear to love the future partner until death do them apart and is ‘funny, smart and handsome’. Now, now, I understand if you feel intimidated and loserly.

3. I swear, women spend more time deciding which profile is ‘suitable’ more than they spend time shopping.

4. Go on a normal day and try telling your parents you’d like to date someone…

You tell first. I’ll pray for you.

BUT, in an arranged marriage, you have the freedom to talk to as many, go on multiple dates, talk day-in and day-out, bring home heart-holding teddy bears and show it to smiling parents and, still say ‘No’ and escape pannify at any point of time. No questions asked.

5. God forbid your parents get involved in your ‘first date.’ They’d say, “Paaru andha payyan blazer pottundu smart ah vara poran, Edhavadhu fashionable ah dress podu di”.

This is exactly when you have those flashback moments.

No sleeveless to work, kannu padum.

No ‘midi-skirt’ to meet friends, road la kannu padum.

No dresses to parties. Kalyanamaana pasanga ellam irupa. Kudumbathula kozhapam undaagum! (??!!)

No shorts at home. Vayasu pasanga flat la iruka!

6. Anyway, moving on…today the girl’s/ boy’s parents don’t vijarichufy with pakathu aathu and yethaathu about you. They surusuruppa ‘check you out’ on Facebook. That’s why naa appove sonen,’Keep calm and pray to Umachi’ profile photo vaa maathu nu. Nee ketiya? Ippo anubavi.

7. There are kaadhu ku inimaiyaana moments in your life when a maami suddenly comes and tells your mom, indha kaalathu ponnunga ellam 26 la thane kalyaanam panra. Enna avasaram unaku? Konjam freeeya iruka viden? Now don’t ask me if they were being sarcastic or genuinely meant it. I’m clueless. Anything’s possible. Anything.

8. This is heights of hypocrisy. Before wedding you just HAVE TO wake up early morning, vaasal thelichu kolam potufy, know how to cook Tambrahm saapadu and get home by 9 PM. Why? Because andha imaginary maamiyar and payyan ku seri varaadhu! Post wedding: You get sloshed and end up in a zoo, turn into a hippie, go bald, live under a bridge, pierce your eyebrows, they don’t care. Because adhu ‘un kudumba prachana”.

9. Oh and top it all off, “En ponnu nalla paaduva. Cinema paatu kuda paaduva!”

Thus, the hilarity ensues. To my fellow Tambrahms, Keep calm and really, pray to Umachi.

The New Year resolution: 12 things I discovered in my 20s that’ll last a lifetime

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There’s something about New Years that gives you a fresh lease of life, a second chance to give a shot at life again. A chance to forget the past and create a future you always wanted. Maybe that’s why, a lot of us look at the year gone by and religiously make a list of things we missed out on and want to do, in the year ahead. In simple words, we make resolutions. I did too, for many years. But then, for a person who is hardly a disciplinarian, it was a mammoth task to make it last even for a week.

So, this year, for a change, I decided to look back at 2013 (in the hope that fate doesn’t have any big surprises in the last 5 days), and list down things that I learnt from the whirlwind of a year. Things that I’ll probably carry to my deathbed. Of course, with the possibility that this list will grow by the years.

  1. Despite being confronted with several circumstances, we still don’t know when to say a firm no, when to say a yes or when to forgive. Somehow, there’s always an element of doubt.
  2. It’s a fact. We brag about how we don’t care about what others think about us. We stand tall. We stand proud. But, even the most optimistic among us has a tinge of unshakeable insecurity. And, it takes conviction beyond imagination to not let it affect us.
  3. Our parents were always right, especially, about the kind of friends we had right from kindergarten until now. They sensed the trouble-kind like a bloodhound long ago, while we took a hit and went running back to them years later, just to hear them say, “I told you so.”
  4. Oh, and they know exactly what we do and how messed up we are. They just don’t confront us.
  5. We wake up one day and realise, we can literally count the number of friends we are truly comfortable being around. We panic, yes. But, at some level, we prefer to spend time with those few who know us inside out.
  6. While on this subject, we realise it takes tremendous effort to keep in touch with those select few. But, we are willing to go ten extra miles to do exactly that!
  7. Hangovers are not fun anymore. Our legs start weighing down on us even before the stroke of midnight, and we yearn to go back to that wonderful, wonderful bed at home.
  8. Whether we care to admit it or not, when we see our closest friends bear a child, the first signs of growing old and becoming adults hits us like a storm. Of course, not fashionably so.
  9. When we were in our teens, we could hardly relate to someone who was even two years older than us. Somehow, we were the more awesome know-it-alls’. Enter mid-20s – we have that shocking revelation that most of our friends are at least two to three years older than us. And the best part? We prefer to be around them at most times.
  10. All the things that mattered to us in a ‘dateable person’ seem insignificant and immature now. And what we look for in them now? Well, there’s no list. None whatsoever.
  11. For all those of us who make or used to make diary entries in our early and late teens, when we read it now, we can’t help but laugh at the trivial concerns we had as kids! And now, we begin to wonder if the troubles we have now will seem insignificant to what we would be facing in a decade. And that, my friend, is scary!
  12. Finally, we oh so miss the summer vacations, when we watched Cartoon Network day in and day out, played in the blazing heat with friends and when the biggest worry was to show our report cards to our parents! We’d give anything to trade lives with a five-year old.